Okie dokie artichokes, let’s be honest, there is stigma surrounding counselling however I will say, the stigma has lessened over the last couple of years. (Yay let’s keep this going!) There is also a lot of misconception surrounding counselling and what exactly one should expect when attending counselling. Let’s talk about that today!
Quick side note: all counsellors practice differently and what is written may not reflect on how they practice.
Common questions asked about counselling:
Why do people seek counselling and how can counselling help me?
Great question and this of course depends on your counselling needs. Common reasons people seek counselling are:
· Learning to manage mental illness
· Resolve conflict
· Developing coping skills and strategies
· Working on relationships
· Work through cognitive distortions (what if thinking, ‘shoulding’ yourself, intrusive thoughts).
· Receive non-biased, non-judgemental help working through stressful life situations.
· Working through trauma
Whatever your reason is for seeking counselling it will help provide insight and clarity for what you are going through.
I feel like my problems are not big enough for counselling. Does this matter?
You do not have to be in crisis to be in counselling. Counselling is there to provide support and resources during difficult moments in your life and also during quieter moments in your life. Continued counselling helps to maintain the skills and tools you learn throughout your sessions; however, the frequency of sessions can vary depending on where you're at in life. Your counsellor understands this. Keep in mind, if you feel you are not ready to start counselling, listen to yourself. If you force yourself to go into counselling when you are not ready, you may not benefit from it.
How do I know if my counsellor is a right fit for me?
My lanta, I love this question! You have every right to “shop” around for a counsellor that is a right fit for you.
In session you will be sharing vulnerable aspects of your life and feeling comfortable, safe, and supported with your counsellor is a must.
No counsellor practices the same and will be a good fit for every client. We as counsellors know this and understand that if a client does not feel we are a good fit, that is absolutely ok and we will provide you with other counsellor recommendations. Not to mention we will be super happy to see you advocating for yourself!
This however goes both ways, if a counsellor feels they are not able to provide the appropriate services for you; they will share this and again, provide you with other counsellor recommendations who may be a better fit.
Keep in mind, your counsellor is there to work with you and when appropriate, challenge you for continued growth. You may not be happy with your counsellor’s perspective every time and that is ok.
You are not paying a counsellor to be a “yes man”.
However, the way a counsellor goes about challenging you should be done in a respectful and supportive manner. Counsellors also understand implementing strategies, challenging yourself, growth, etc. is easier said than done and do not expect instant success. This takes time and we are here to support you along the way.
Does what we talk about in counselling remain confidential?
Absolutely! Counsellors have a code of ethics to follow, and maintaining all confidentiality is a must. During the intake session, your counsellor should share confidentiality standards which are:
“Confidentiality cannot be kept:
· If you are hurting yourself
· You are hurting someone else or
· Someone is hurting you”
Counsellors may go into further details about confidentiality standards i.e. what does hurting yourself look like and when would confidentiality need to be broken regarding this situation. Also, you have the right to ask questions about confidentiality until you feel 100% comfortable and understand these standards.
Is my counsellor going to judge me?
No, not at all. Counsellors listen with an open mind, free of judgement. We are here to help and support you with whatever you are experiencing. What you are going through big or small, is affecting you and that is all that matters. Counsellors offer a judgment free, supportive and empathetic space. We are not here to decide what issue deserves counselling or not.
Personally, I feel going to counselling for the big and the small issues in your life is healthy and continues ongoing growth. It’s empowering to put yourself first and counsellors love seeing this!
Do I have to talk about my childhood?
This is up to you! If you are in counselling say for a specific reason such as feeling overwhelmed at school or work, diving into your childhood may not align with why you are seeking counselling services. You are allowed to tell your counsellor you are not wanting to talk about your childhood. However, if you are seeking counselling for trauma you experienced in your childhood, it would make sense to discuss your childhood to help with the healing journey, but does not need to take up the whole session.
Our childhood experiences shape who we are today as adults. This is why counsellors tend to ask about your childhood, to see if there are common unhealthy, negative patterns you may have experienced in your childhood that are now contributing to the issue you are currently bringing forward. We promise, we are not just being nosey haha.
Do counsellors have expectations of their clients?
This is a big question and depends on why you are in counselling. With that being said, you are in counselling for yourself, not anyone else. If your counsellor provides work sheets, new coping strategies and tools to try, your counsellor may have an expectation for you to try them and try them more than once. (It takes time to develop habits).
A lot of the work from counselling is done outside of the session and you are only benefiting yourself by doing the work.
Counsellors understand the difficulty in implementing new healthier habits in your everyday life and should be patient during this process. A counsellor may bring up in session if they notice a long period of time has passed without you attempting the tools and strategies agreed upon in session, and possibly look into developing new strategies together to try instead. If your counsellor has not shared their expectations, don't be shy to ask them this questions, it's good for both parties to know what they are.
Some final thoughts:
You are in charge in sessions.
You have the right to say you are not ready to talk about a certain topic.
You have the right to find a counsellor that you feel safe and supported by.
You have the right to challenge your counsellor’s perspectives in session.
You have the right to advocate for yourself.
Going to counselling can be hard and challenging but it is so empowering, and I hope you recognize the strength and courage it takes to be vulnerable. We as counsellors are so proud of you for taking this step and see the hard work you are doing even if you are having trouble seeing it yourself.
PS: We really are proud of you!
Until next time,
Chantel
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