Oh, anxiety - anxiety is one of the most common mental health concerns for children and adults, but this does not minimize the seriousness anxiety has on our day to day lives.
Don't get me wrong, anxiety can be useful in certain situations i.e. to warn us if we are in danger or to help motivate us to study for a test or prepare for a job interview. Anxiety poses a problem when it is frequent, intense, and affects our day to day lives i.e. intrusive thoughts, feeling too anxious and afraid to attend social events, or go for that promotion.
“People with anxiety don’t have a train of thought. We have seven trains on 4 tracks that narrowly avoid each other when paths cross and all the conductors are screaming.”
Anxiety VS Anxiety Disorder
A normal reaction to stress or difficult times. | Often comes out of nowhere. |
Triggered by a specific stressor. | Intense or disproportionate emotional response. |
Has a start and ending point. | Ongoing and lasts weeks or months. |
Can be helpful or motivational. | Feels impossible to control or manage. |
Lessens significantly or disappears when away from stressful situations. | Interferes with day-to-day life. |
Relaxing often helps you feel better. | Physical symptoms like sweating, trembling, racing heart. |
Types of Anxiety:
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Persistent and excessive worry about a number of different things.
Social Anxiety Disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Panic Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Phobias
Things you might not know are anxiety:
Judging yourself negatively all the time.
Feeling unable or too afraid to speak up.
Believing everyone is secretly judging you.
Thinking you have to be perfect to avoid judgment.
Worrying to much about your word choice.
You have trouble falling asleep even when you are sleep deprived.
You always compare yourself to others.
You blame yourself when others don’t reply to your messages.
You feel unwell physically and mentally most of the time.
You find it difficult to forgive yourself for mistakes you make at work or in your personal life.
Physical symptoms of chronic anxiety
Let's talk about the physical symptoms of anxiety. I find the physical symptoms of anxiety are not as well known or talked about. Let's change that!
Upset stomach and vomiting
Ulcers
Muscle aches
Chornic fatigue
Hormonal problems
Irregular menstrual cycles
Insomnia
Infections
Lowered immune system
Migraines
Shortness of breath
Dizziness
Heart palpitations
Teeth-grinding
Rashes
Intrusive Thoughts
Everyone has thoughts that are upsetting or strange, and do not make a lot of sense, from time to time; this is normal.
Just because you think something, doesn’t make it true or mean you’re going to act on it.
Thinking a bad thought does not mean you are a bad person, nor does it mean that you want to do bad things. Unfortunately, for some individuals their thoughts can be so strange, upsetting, or repugnant that they find it hard not to view themselves as “bad” or “sick.” Try to remember, thoughts are not facts.
Intrusive thoughts can vary depending on the person and the level of anxiety you are experiencing. They may look like:
"Did I say something wrong?" "Do people actually like me or do they just pretend?" "There is something really wrong with me." "I wonder if they’re upset with me?" "Do I look stupid right now?" "Am I always going to feel this way?" |
You may also be experiencing more intense thoughts such as:
"Drive into on coming traffic." "Pick up your baby nephew and throw them." While cleaning the dishes: "stab yourself with that knife you just cleaned." "Hurt yourself and others." "You do not think purely, you're a bad person." |
There is no remedy to completely stop intrusive thoughts, they are a prominent symptom of anxiety, depression, and other mental illness'. However, with proper treatment such as, medication and counselling; you can work to manage the symptoms and minimize their affect.
"You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you"
High Functioning Anxiety
High functioning anxiety is still anxiety. It does not mean your anxiety does not matter or that it does not affect you and your life any less. You do not have to justify your anxiety to anyone. There are two sides of high functioning anxiety:
Organized:
Social
Hardworking
Meet all deadlines
High achiever
Proactive
Appearing clam
As Well
Excessive worrying
Perfectionist
Often exhausted
Fear of failure
Worried to disappoint
Procrastinate
Insomnia
Coping Strategies
Of course, we cannot talk all about anxiety without discussing coping strategies!
Affirmations:
Affirmations are positive phrases or statements you say to your self repeatedly to re-wire your thinking habits. It takes time and work but once you are able to form this new positive habit, it has great benefits. Some positive phrases or statements you can try:
“I can handle uncertainty.”
“My emotions do not reflect reality.”
“This is not an emergency. It is ok to take my time.”
“I can handle discomfort. This will pass.”
Identify an object in the room:
Pick an item in the room and describe it in detail. What color is it? Does it have texture? How heavy would it be in your hands? Does this item have a smell? What else do you notice?
Journal:
Write about your current feelings. What happened today? Are you noticing any feeings in your body? Are you worried, nervous, or stressed?
Write down all the tasks you feel you should ('should-ing' will be address soon too!) be doing – this helps take the clutter out of our minds and organize our thoughts.
If you want to take it a step further, when you complete your list write beside each tasks, 'in my control' and 'out of my control.' If it is out of your control, try your hardest to remove it from your list (cross it out or white it out), and not give it anymore of your energy.
Try to go through a thought record activity, write:
What happened?
What did you feel?
What did you think?
What evidence supports that thought/behaviour/action?
What evidence contradicts that thought/behaviour/action?
What's a more accurate thought?
How do you feel now?
Additional coping strategies to try:
Go for a shower or wash your face.
Weighted blanket, weighted stuffed animal.
Drink water, seriously chug some water.
Exercise!
Spend time outside.
Have a pet? Mindfully pet them or play with them.
Declutter: distract your mind by having a cleanup. Find a place for all those things lying around and clear out what you don’t need anymore.
And one of my favourites - OWN YOUR ANXIETY! What does this even mean Chantel?
If you are nervous about a presentation, test, or meeting someone, don't be shy to share this. For example, I dislike presenting and public speaking my anxiety goes through the roof! But it has been apart of my job and I used to have every intrusive thought in the book trying to convince myself not to present. (Break your leg so you have to go to the hospital. Crash your car so you don't have to present. Just don't show up and deal with the consequence later…) Yeah, no thank you. To say it took a lot of energy to fight those negative intrusive thoughts and do my presentations was exhausting.
How I managed my anxiety and intrusive thoughts during these times, is by sharing at the beginning of my presentations, "I have anxiety and become turbo nervous when presenting. This may look like, turning red, talking quickly, my mouth gets dry and my lisps may come out, and I can get sweaty. I know, sexy right!?" (You bet I make a joke about it haha). People laugh, I laugh and then I feel as though a lot of pressure leaves my body and I do a better job presenting than anticipated. so, OWN YOUR ANXIETY!
Lastly, knowing your happiness triggers can be just as important as knowing our harmful triggers. For example:
A hug
Clean sheets
A favorite meal
Your favorite smell
Acts of kindness
Sunlight or time outside
Your favorite music
Hot coffee or tea
Moving your body
And ten things to remember!
Thoughts are just thoughts – you don’t need to give meaning to them.
Understand why you’re feeling anxious, don’t just accept anxiety.
You can change the way you think.
Don’t feed your fears.
Remember your strengths – they’re much stronger than your fears.
Your physical health is entirely linked to your mental health.
Managing anxiety is a skill like any other – you need to practice.
Everyone makes mistakes.
Don’t take life too seriously.
You deserve to be happy.
PS: anxiety disorders are real. You are not imagining things. You are not alone. People with anxiety c an be productive and even happy. Anxiety is how you feel, not who you are.
Until next time...
Chantel Bode
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