I know, it's about time we talk about the basics of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)!
DBT focuses on working with individuals on two seemingly opposite strategies:
Acceptance: that individuals experiences and behaviours are valid.
Change: that individuals have to make positive changes to manage thoughts, feelings, and behaviours moving forward.
In other words, DBT teaches people to accept their thoughts, feelings and behaviours, in addition to developing healthier coping strategies to use during moments of stress, regulating emotions, and improve interpersonal relationships.
States of Mind - Three Different Ways of Thinking
You will often hear therapists referencing to Wise Mind, Emotional Mind, and Rational Mind (aka Reasonable Mind), while discussing DBT. States of Mind is a large part of DBT and allows for easier referencing during sessions i.e. “what frame of mind were you in during that situation?”
We all have times when we are more controlled by our Rational Mind, Emotional Mind, or by a combination of both known as Wise Mind. (This is where we want to be a majority of the time!)
Breaking Down the States of Mind
Rational Mind
Rational Mind refers to thinking logically or factually about something. When a person is thinking from this perspective, there generally are not very many emotions involved; if you are feeling emotions, they tend to be fairly quiet ones. Your Rational Mind is very important but thinking only from this perspective on a regular basis can lead to problems. For example, people who think from this perspective might regularly ignore how they feel, which can lead to difficulties managing emotions.
Emotional Mind
When you are thinking from Emotional Mind, your emotions are so intense that they control how you act; you react from the urges the emotions create in you, rather than choosing how to act in a situation. Just like with your Rational Mind, if you are thinking soley from your Emotional Mind and acting on these urges too often, you’ll run into problems. Emotional Mind is the mind that most often gets us into trouble.
Wise Mind
Wise Mind is the combination of Rational Mind and Emotional Mind. By combining both minds, you ensure that neither mode of thinking is controlling you and you are able to consider the consequences of your actions and subsequently act in your own best interest. Have you ever found yourself in a situation that might have felt difficult, but you just knew what you had to do? Perhaps it wasn’t the easiest thing to do, or what you really wanted to do in the situation, but it was what felt right, deep down? That’s your wise self. We all have this wisdom, and we all use it regularly, even though sometimes it might not feel like it.
Quick recap:
Reasonable Mind is:
Fact Based
Rational
Task-Focused
When in reasonable mind, you are ruled by facts, reason, and logic. Values and feelings are not important.
Emotional Mind is:
React instead of respond.
Mood-Dependent.
Emotion-Focused.
When in emotional mind, you are ruled by your moods, feelings, and urges to do or say things. Facts, reason, and logic are not important.
Wise Mind is:
The wisdom within each person.
Seeing the value of both reason and emotion.
Brining left brain and right brain together.
Taking Hold of Your Mind
Ok great, so we learned a little about DBT (there is so much more to learn!) and the States of Mind, but how can we start working towards implementing Wise Mind regularly? Super great question! Before we dive into that, remember, be patient with yourself. Developing healthier habits is hard and takes time but will be worth it!
Practice being non-judgmental with your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours:
Notice, but don’t evaluate as good or bad.
Acknowledge the difference between the helpful and the harmful, the safe and the dangerous.
When you find yourself judging, don’t judge your judging.
Practice being present and doing so mindfully:
Be mindful of your goals in the present situation. If you notice your thoughts are drifting towards the future i.e. will my work be good enough? Acknowledge you are having this thought and then bring your focus back to the task in front on you, being mindful of the process itself.
Focus on what works. Do not let Emotional Mind get in the way of being effective.
Act as skillfully as you can. Do what is needed for the situation you are in – not the situation you wish you were in; not the one that is fair; not the one that is more comfortable.
Ideas for Practicing Being Mindful and Nonjudgmental
Being nonjudgemental is hard. To this day, I have not met anyone who has not experienced a judgemental thought either towards themselves or others. And if you say you haven't, pffft yeah right. (There it is, the judgement!) Below are some ideas to help be mindful of our judgements.
Leaving out comparisons, judgments, and assumptions:
Practice observing judgmental thoughts and statements, saying to ourselves “I just experienced a judgemental thought." (You may be surprised by how many judgemental thoughts you have in a day. Don't worry, this is normal and part of the process).
Replace judgmental thoughts and statements with nonjudgmental thoughts and statements i.e.:
Judgment: "The stupid driver that was in front me obviously didn't know how to drive! Who does he think he is, cutting me off!"
Mindful form: "The person in front of me was driving very fast and cut across my lane. I felt unsafe. This whole situation made me feel enraged."
Judgment: "I can't seem to advance in my career, I am such a weak person. Probably nobody can even remember my name because I am unimpressive."
Mindful form: "I haven't had a promotion in five years now, and that makes me want to blame myself. I am feeling discouraged. I am also thinking that maybe the reason I didn't get the promotion is that I am not personable enough."
Replacing judgment by stating the facts:
1. Describe the facts of the event or situation – only what is observed by yourself.
2. Describe the consequences of the event. Keep to the facts.
3. Describe your own feelings in response to the facts – remember, emotions are not judgments.
Practice makes perfect right!?
To practice replacing judgement by stating the facts, try the following:
Observe your judgmental facial expressions, postures, and voice tones – including voice tones in your head.
Change judgmental expressions, postures, and voice tones.
Tell someone what you did today nonjudgmentally, or about an event that occurred. Stay very concrete; only relate what you observed directly.
Write out a nonjudgmental description of an event that promoted an emotions.
There is so much more to DBT and what it offers. Today we focused on the introduction to DBT, the States Of Mind, and how to work towards Wise Mind by being mindful and nonjudgmental of our thoughts, emotions, and actions both within ourselves and others. I love DBT and utilizing it with clients, and enjoyed writing about it today. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out or ask your therapist, it's a cool therapy strategy and worth learning more about. Lets leave it at that for now.
PS: The benefits of actively practicing mindfulness in your life is a game changer, it is worth checking DBT mindfulness out in more detail or possibly, stay tuned for a future blog on it!
Until next time,
Chantel
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