I know that title probably sounds scary or unimaginable but stick with me. I am a huge believer in owning your mental illness and what this looks like varies for each individual.
Society has such a strong hold on the stigma surrounding mental illness and the thought of us owning our mental illness in any given moment might have us believing that we are:
- Seeking attention
- A fear of being judged
- People may think we are not capable of doing our job
- We might be perceived as weak
It's hard not to internalize societies thoughts and opinions regarding mental illness and want to hide how we truly are feeling; how we are experiencing intrusive thoughts constantly throughout the day, how our stomachs are upset, we are sweaty, and can feel our heart quickly pounding trying to figure out if we’re about to have a heart attack.
When we talk about owning mental illness in sessions, we talk about how empowering it feels to take back control, how your symptoms minimize, and of course, how it will be hard at first but will be so worth it.
You did not choose to have a mental illness. I always say to clients, “it is not as though you woke up one day and said, awesome, I can’t wait to experience crippling anxiety and depression throughout my day; I am so lucky!”
What you are going through is hard and exhausting. You have to put that much more effort into every single day to be on the same level as someone who does not experience mental illness.
This is the side of mental illness people do not see or understand. The invisible internal struggle you experience every day weighing you down, taunting you, doing what it can to try and make you fail and seem weak.
This is why I am so passionate about working with individuals on owning their mental illness. You deserve to feel empowered and in control despite the stigma and the symptoms you experience. You deserve to know your mental illness does not define who you are. Let alone, feel the need to justify your mental illness to anyone, especially when you’re experiencing a good day.
Ok, so you are on board, and want to know how we get started; here is a personal example of how I started to own my mental illness. (Anxiety and OCD)
I hate, hate, hate presentations with a passion. To say my anxiety symptoms amplify when I know I have one coming up is an understatement. I typically don't have to do presentations now but when I worked with schools as a counsellor, presentations were expected. Let me tell you, my intrusive thoughts kicked into high gear during these times, here are a few examples:
- “Break your leg the day of and you won’t have to present.”
- “Get into a car accident on the way to work so you don’t have to do the presentation.”
- “Just quite your job right now to get out of doing this.”
- “They’re going to see you know nothing and you’re just going to embarrass yourself.” (Impostor syndrome).
These thoughts were constant and unrelenting. Of course, it is normal to be nervous about presenting however, experiencing an anxiety disorder amplified feeling nervous into unrealistic fear and intrusive thoughts that I had to fight against every day amongst the physical symptoms that wanted to come along for the ride.
One day I decided, f this noise I am tired of feeling this way and am going to own my mental illness. At the beginning of the presentation, standing in front of all the hard-working teachers and admin being hyper aware of how much I was sweating, how dry my mouth was, and how hot and red my face already felt as I was looking at the door ready to make a run for it; I said,
“Good afternoon everyone! Before we get started, I want to share that I absolutely dislike giving presentations and my anxiety heightens greatly during them. You may notice that my mouth is dry, and my lisp makes an appearance, I am extra sweaty, I know sexy right haha, and that I talk quite quickly so please do not be shy to ask me to slow down or repeat myself, I am aware of all of this. Thank you!”
Once I owned my heighten anxiety and the symptoms that were making an appearance with it, I felt lighter and a lot less pressure to try and hide any symptoms I may be experiencing. This allowed me to focus more on the information of the presentation and to my surprise at the time, I felt less anxiety moving forward. (This was a HUGE relief and eye opener!)
The way I choose to go about it was to acknowledge what I was feeling and experiencing and also make a little joke about it to help others feel comfortable if they need to ask me to repeat anything. Of course, the language varies depending on the age group of the audience.
How you want to own your mental illness may look different and that is absolutely ok! You do not have to share what your symptoms look like or even own it in person at first. Sending an email, having individual conversations, or owning it personally is just as good. Whatever works best for you!
You can own your mental illness anywhere at any time! With friends, family, work, social events, job interviews, presentations, vacations, alone feeling the weight of your symptoms, etc. There is no limit. It is about giving yourself permission to acknowledge your mental illness and telling it to take the back sit while you live your life.
People are starting to understand the complexity of mental illness, and by owning your mental illness it provides opportunity to help society continue to grow and fight against the stigma.
Owning your mental illness is not about other people, it's about you. By doing so, you are taking away its power and hold over you. You are making the decision to not be held back anymore by something you did not ask for.
Of course, please be mindful that this process does take time and it may feel uncomfortable and unnatural at first; this is completely normal and valid. The more you own your mental illness and expand it in other areas of your life, the fear of doing so minimizes as you continue to recognize you no longer have to hide anymore.
Let's leave it at that for now.
PS: Please don't hesitate to reach out if you're wanting to explore what owning your mental illness looks like for you!
Until next time,
Chantel
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